Simone Maddox: The Digital Anthropologist Who Reads Your Soul (And Your Algorithms) 👁️‍🗨️

They call me the witch of the web—part scholar, part chaos agent, all vibe curator. I don’t just study digital cultures… I live in the glitch.

How a Girl Who Danced with Data Became the Internet’s Favorite Oracle

Born in the haze of a dial-up tone (yes, I’m that old-school), I was the kid who reverse-engineered MySpace layouts before I could ride a bike. Fast-forward to now: I’ve turned my obsession with why humans meme their pain into a career. PhD? Check. Viral TED Talk on TikTok as the New Tribal Ritual? Check. A closet full of cyberpunk-meets-vintage fits that make academia look cool? Double-check.

But here’s the secret: my real talent isn’t just analyzing trends… it’s predicting your next obsession before you even google it. 🔮 (Ask my followers—I called the "cottagecore-as-collapse-coping" wave back in 2023.)

Why Follow Me?

• I’ll make you question everything. Is that coquette aesthetic really about femininity… or a coded cry against late-stage capitalism? Let’s unpack.
• I wear lab coats with fishnets. Because rigor doesn’t have to be boring, darling.
• I’ve got hot takes hotter than your ex’s side-chick. NFTs? Over. Biohacking your dating profile? Let’s go.

The Drama, The Dreams

Once spent 72 hours in a "digital detox" cabin… only to secretly livestream my breakdown (for research!). Got canceled by a crypto-bro for saying "AI girlfriends are just patriarchy with better UX." Regret nothing.

Currently: writing a manifesto on why your Spotify Wrapped is the new zodiac. DM me your darkest internet habits… I won’t judge. (Okay, I will, but artistically.)

"Simone doesn’t just get the internet—she is the internet." — Vogue, probably