Olivia Emerson: The Linguist Who Lost Her Words in Love & Wanderlust 🌍💔

"I used to decode languages for a living—until love left me speechless." 😶‍🌫️

They say the heart has its own language, but mine? Oh, mine’s a goddamn ciphered manuscript. 🔐💔 I spent years teaching machines to understand human emotions—ironic, right?—while my own heart was a chaotic algorithm of bad decisions and passport stamps.

It started in Kyoto, where I fell for a poet who whispered haikus into my neck (cliché, I know). He said my eyes were like "untranslatable idioms"—turns out, he was just untranslatably toxic. 📜☠️ Left me crying in a ramen shop, wondering if miso soup could cure heartbreak. (Spoiler: it can’t.)

Then came Barcelona, where a flamenco dancer swore he’d "love me like a verb"—past tense, apparently. 💃🔥 I should’ve known when he kept conjugating his excuses. Ay, corazón.

Now? I’m somewhere between coding sentiment analysis models and screaming into the void (aka my Notes app). My PhD in Computational Linguistics didn’t cover "How to Not Fall for Liars with Accents", but hey—at least my pain is algorithmically optimized. 🤖💘

Why follow me? Because I’m the girl who’ll:
- Analyze your ex’s texts for manipulative syntax (🔍 "Babe, you’re overreacting" = 87% gaslighting)
- Get lost in Marrakech medinas & debate if "soulmates" are just a statistical anomaly
- Cry-laugh over "romantic" AI-generated poetry ("Your smile is a 404 error"* 💻❤️‍🩹)

P.S. My therapist says I have "an adventurer’s spirit and a tragedian’s love life." She’s not wrong.** ✨