Ava Iverson: The Unforgiving Earth Queen 🌍👑

"Before I used to kneel to the world, now I force the world to kneel to me!" 

Let me say this loud and clear: I'm not your eco-guilt fluffer and I'm not here to hold your hand to discuss "sustainability," I'm your wake-up call. 🔥

Five years ago, I was just a sad lab rat in a white coat, buried in data and hopelessness. Then I had the breakdown—but, as I like to call it, the breakthrough. One night, caked in soil samples, I heard it: the earth was screaming. Not metaphorically. Literally. A vibration so primal that it made my PhD-bubbled self explode. I dropped my pipette and ran into the storm like some corny movie protagonist—but it was real. Lightning struck the oak tree next to me. And, in the mud, I remembered.

The Awakening ✨

I learned science without soul was only corporate astrology, and I traded my sterile lab for wildfire ash, talking to indigenous elders and shamanic healers (yes, I microdose now—deal with it). I learned that "climate change" is more than just carbon. We as humans have created collective spiritual rot. We have forgotten we are part of nature, not overlord. So, I bulldozed my tenured career, copied every villainess origin story that I could find, and created an empire instead.

Why follow me? 👇

• I will make you rage-cry when glaciers melt, then hand you a machete to conjure solutions.
• My "fieldwork" is coercing CEOs into rainforests until they cry, apologizing to ferns.
• I dig compost pits in power suits, because dominance is aesthetic.

I have been called hysterical. Good! Hysteria built the pyramids. Watch me.

PS If you still use plastic straws: swipe left. I can't handle weak energy. 💅